27 November 2007

a war on X-mas? (on first strikes)

Posted by at 3:28 PM Read our previous post
I stopped at a shop to get a bite to eat today. As I sat and ate my food, some piped-in muzak played from speakers concealed somewhere in the acoustic-tile ceiling. Christmas carols.
Not only do I find Christmas carols to be a particularly insipid genre of music, but the fact that they are being pumped out into our daily activities so soon (not even a week after turkey day) causes me to roll my eyes in disbelief. After a few of these innocuous and banal songs, I was moved to comment, aloud, "It's not Christmas yet, goddammit!" I looked around, only slightly concerned about whom I might have offended with my irreverent paroxysm. A young man looked at me and nodded a smile as if in silent agreement. A trio of hip-hopper high-school kids didn't seem to have heard me at all.
No casualties, then.

But it occurs to me that heathens like me (or even those unlike me) have not declared any war on Christmas after all, despite what idiot-pundits like Bill O might think or say. It seems to me that every year the first shots are always fired by corporate America (I realize that this practice is no longer a solely American phenomenon—but then corporate Japan doesn't concern me here).

I have absolutely nothing against the Christian celebration of Christmas. In fact, I have been known to sing a carol or two for my family and friends on that holiday, something which I genuinely enjoy doing. However, I do strongly object to being bombarded by a month's worth of it. If we heathens are at war with X-mas, it is only because we are carpet-bombed on a yearly basis. We are conducting defensive maneuvers, not the other way around. Yet we hear the advocates of this avarice repeatedly accuse all who don't fall in step with their profit-scheme of unfairly discriminating against the Christian religion.

My response to this charge is to point out that the month-long anticipation has absolutely nothing to do with the Christian religion. It is nothing more than a subconscious appeal to potential consumers, a reminder that there are "X" number of days left in which to get all of our shopping done. Nothing more. If you doubt the non-religious character of this practice, ask yourself what the song "Let it Snow, Let it Snow, Let it Snow" has to do with the Christian religion. Or how about "Frosty the Snowman"? All of this is made even more ludicrous by the fact that I live in the Phoenix valley, where the total accumulation of snow precipitation since the time of Jesus is less than an eigth of an inch.

What idiot-pundits perceive as a "war on X-mas" is nothing but a reaction against a calculated and (because it is areligious in nature) disingenuous and hypocritical first assault on the part of greedy financiers.

Peace on earth and good will toward men—my ass!


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